Shaka's Funnies - Rate 1 to 10 ................................. !?

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will continue to

fiddle with a coat hanger until long after hypothermia has set in.

Calling the RAC is not an option. I will win.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries

at the supermarket, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find

exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu". For all I know, these are the

same thing.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will open

the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know exactly what I'm

looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will eventually say

to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with

all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me

soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will

insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost

me twice as much once the repairman gets here and has to put it back

together.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my

hand while I watch TV.

If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole programme

looking for it.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking

about. The honest answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or

sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.

Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. And if

you're feeling amorous afterwards....then I'll certainly at least

remember the name and recommend it to others.

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.

I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.

Either pair of shoes is fine.

With the belt or without it, looks fine.

Your hair is fine.

You look fine.

Can we just go now?

______________________________________...

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will

share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking,

the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...

.like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to

do.

______________________________________...

Because I am a man, I see flat-pack furniture as a challenge to have

the greatest possible number of left over and unused components at

the end. If the assembled furniture doesn't collapse within the

hour, this is merely seen as a bonus.

______________________________________...

Because I am a man, I don't have to ask for directions. Unknown

to women, the penis contains a magnetic homing device enabling men to

know exactly where they are on the Earth's surface at all times. If

we do get lost, it's because our wives have used too much girly

fabric conditioner on our underwear, thereby blocking out the

magnetic rays.



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Shaka's Funnies - Rate 1 to 10 ................................. !?
this is excellent 10/10, have a star!!!
Reply:great...



though according to this, my last bf wasn't a real man ;-)



8.5
Reply:this one's real funny. i'll give it a 10. and a star
Reply:Lol. Funny stuff. I love the you look fine one. I always said that to this girl I use to date when she asked. I give this a 9.
Reply:Hits home it really does. 9/10 plus a star